Why I Never Wanted Children

Unpacking this decision; or, The difficult of proving a negative

Photo by me.

I never wanted to have children. Even when I was a child myself, I played with Matchbox cars, not dolls, though I wasn’t otherwise particularly tomboyish. (I didn’t play with a lot of other kids either, but that’s another story.)

I did always imagine getting married, and I have certainly done so sufficiently; I’m on my third marriage now. “Always a bride, never a bridesmaid.”

I like kids, though I confess I don’t know very many of them, and not very well. I don’t really know how to talk to kids.

When I was a teenager, I babysat a lot. Perhaps that’s a factor. My favorite of the kids I took care of was a newborn. She mostly slept.

I do love being an auntie, to the World’s Most Adorable Nephew, but I think most of the credit has to go to him on that one — he’s just charming and happy and, well, adorable. He also lives two states away, so I don’t get to spend a lot of time with him. I’ve never, for example, babysat him. We did have a lot of fun playing with little cars together last Christmas.

I feel lucky that I passed through my potential childbearing years in a time and place where it was possible to choose to be childfree. (Though just a few short years ago, I…