Why I Don’t Send Christmas Letters

This is not a stock photo. This is literally our tree, in our literal living room, right now. So at least we have THAT going on.

Dear Friends and Family,

2018 has been another year for the books! Five books, actually, or six; I mean that’s how many books I wrote, depending on how you count; but I can only tell you about two of them, because the others are secret, due to a kind of complicated set of reasons why I can’t —

Okay, scratch that. Start again.