Why I Don’t Send Christmas Letters

This is not a stock photo. This is literally our tree, in our literal living room, right now. So at least we have THAT going on.

Dear Friends and Family,

2018 has been another year for the books! Five books, actually, or six; I mean that’s how many books I wrote, depending on how you count; but I can only tell you about two of them, because the others are secret, due to a kind of complicated set of reasons why I can’t —

Okay, scratch that. Start again.

Dear Friends and Family,

What a busy year! So many things happened! Good things, most of them, except the things that were bad; those things were VERY bad, horrible really, but we’re all going to be all right, I have to believe that; because if we don’t have that, that faith, that belief, well, we —

No, no, no.

Dear Family and Friends,

Family comes first this year. Nothing is more important than family. Except for those particular friends, our very good friends, who are as close as family. You’re that important; no, MORE important. (And that’s why you’re getting a form letter!) :-) Because I mean, there’s family and there’s family, right? When I say family here I mean the nice family, the close family, the ones that don’t —

Whoah, don’t go there.

Dear Beloved Ones,