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When You and Your Partner are Financially Incompatible

It’s more common than you think

Shannon Page
5 min readFeb 15, 2020
Photo by Alice Pasqual on Unsplash

I recently read an article about dramatically different approaches to money within a relationship on the marvelous Captain Awkward advice-column website and it got me thinking. I’m not sure I’ve ever been in a relationship where my partner and I handled money in exactly the same way. And I’m on my third marriage.

This mismatch shouldn’t be surprising — I’m not sure I’ve ever known any two people, in a relationship or otherwise, with precisely the same resources, approach, philosophy, comfort with risk, or even income and expenditures.

But you’d think financial compatibility would be high on the list of traits one would look for in seeking a partner.

I mean, if you’d never fallen in love before, that is.

Because let’s face it: in the first heady rush of endorphins and sexual-romantic attraction to a new person, money matters are…easily ignored.

To everyone’s peril.

Take my first husband, for example. We met in college. I was supporting myself, taking a full load of classes while working a part-time job and living in a co-op that gave a break on room-and-board fees in exchange for weekly workshift duties.

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Shannon Page
Shannon Page

Written by Shannon Page

Writer, editor, thinker of things, living on Orcas Island, Washington state. https://www.shannonpage.net

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