Member-only story
Navigating Two Very Different Losses
Two beloved parents, gone too soon.
My mom and my stepdad Keith loved to travel. It was their thing. They were so frugal in every other part of their lives — Mom would spend two hours making her grocery list and gathering coupons before every Saturday’s shopping; they both hated buying new clothes, and they drank the cheapest wine they could find; they used every appliance till it fell apart. They scrimped and they saved and then — whoo! — they traveled like travelin’ fools.
Europe. The tropics. Canada. Spring training. Driving trips — they particularly loved state capitals and state fairs, the more off-beat, the better. Family visits. A romantic weekend on the coast.
They collected souvenir magnets everywhere they went, and arranged them geographically on the side of their fridge:
Mom came down with a persistent bladder infection while she and Keith were on a cruise through the Panama Canal. Well, that’s what the doctors thought it was, anyway. By the time they finally diagnosed bladder cancer, several months later, they still thought her prognosis was quite good. “We’re going for a cure,” her cheerful, upbeat oncologist told her.
That was certainly plausible. Especially when caught early enough, in an active and otherwise healthy woman in her early seventies, it is one of those cancers that can be beaten. Even so: cancer. There is always that whisper in the back of your mind. Cancer.
She went through chemo, and then surgery. She seemed to handle both of those trials well; things were looking good. They were ready to pick up their travel again — my Italian cousin was getting married, and we made plans to attend the wedding.
It would be the first time we all traveled together — my husband and me, my brother and his family, and our parents. I was so looking forward to it; I wanted to meet the Mom & Keith who only came out on those amazing trips. I wanted to see their adventurous side, hang out with them at my auntie’s house, celebrate not just the wedding but also Mom’s brush with cancer and triumphant recovery —…
